Symptoms of Normal Grief.

Help with physical and emotional healing for moms who have suffered loss.

Moderators: justme, ***, deb

Symptoms of Normal Grief.

Postby IslandDreamer » Jan 06, 2005 4:39 pm

This is from a packet at a local hospital where my therapist does grief work in the ER. The list really helped me accept and understand (a bit more) what I was feeling. Hope it helps some of you who visit here. I wish I'd seen it day one of my grief journey.

Physical Sensations

Tightness in chest
Tightness in throat
Oversensitivity to noise
Depersonalization
Breathlessness
Headaches
Weakness in muscles
Lack of energy
Dry mouth
Trouble swallowing
Hollowness in the stomach
Sighing

Behaviors

Sleep problems
No appetite
Forgetfulness
Social withdrawals
Dreams of deceased
Avoidance of reminders
Calling out
Restless Activity
Crying
Clinging to reminders
Treasuring objects

Feelings

Sadness
Anger
Guilt
Anxiety
Loneliness
Fatigue
Helplessness
Shock
Yearning
Numbness
Relief

Thoughts

Disbelief
Confusion
Pre-occupation
Sense of presence
Hearing and seeing the deceased
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby justme » Oct 19, 2006 7:31 pm

I found this information on another board and thought it might be helpful to some of us. It states that these are common reactions after a loss.

You are completely normal if ...

Your angel is on your mind every moment of every day.

You feel like no one else in the world understands you or what you've been through.

You are very angry at God, Allah, Yahweh, Mother Nature, or whatever spiritual power might be responsible for your baby's loss. You wonder if you are being punished for something you did earlier in your life.

You constantly search your mind, trying to find a reason to blame yourself or to pinpoint a direct cause for your baby's loss

You are jealous/angry at your husband/partner for seeming to have"moved on" so quickly.

You have brief, passing thoughts of your own death so that you can be reunited with your baby. (Please note: real suicidal thoughts should definitely be discussed promptly with your doctor).

You don't have much of an appetite for food, sex or anything else.

You prefer to stay in the safe confines of your own home rather than venture out into public.

When you do venture out into public, you wonder if people can see that your heart has just been broken into a million pieces. Or if you are simply invisible to others around you.

You feel a heaviness in your chest, an achiness in your arms, and an emptiness in your heart.

You feel phantom kicks from your angel.

You wake in the morning and for a brief moment you forget that your angel is no longer with you. Then reality hits you like a ton of bricks.

You feel absent-minded, restless, fatigued, and have a hard time concentrating on anything.

You are angry that you can't fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes, but the thought of wearing maternity clothes is another cruel reminder of what you have lost.

You can't stand the sight of other pregnant women - in real life, on television, or ANYWHERE. This applies to close friends and family members too.

Every song that your hear on the radio, television, etc. has a new meaning now that you have lost your angel.

You build a virtual "shrine" to your angel in your home with the ultrasound photos, footprints and other mementos.

You dread the day that you will have to see your doctor for your follow-up appointment. Because you know that the last time your were in the office you were still pregnant.

The thought of trying to conceive again is beyond frightening.

Your vulnerability has been exposed and you fear that other bad things will happen to those close to you.

Some other things I have noticed for myself (and I hope they are normal) . . .

I don't want to be in contact with people who don't know what happened because I feel that they no longer "know" me and I want people in my life to know about my angel, but I don't want to have to explain it to them.

I don't know what to do or say when people ask me how many children I have.

I do find that I appreciate the people that I love more and that I want to make sure everyday that they know it.
justme
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 4818
Joined: Apr 21, 2006 10:48 am

Postby emberflame » May 05, 2007 1:05 am

wow...all I can say...
emberflame
Been There Done That
 
Posts: 255
Joined: Apr 11, 2007 3:45 pm
Location: Fortuna, CA

Postby IslandDreamer » Sep 28, 2007 10:13 pm

:hugs:
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby IslandDreamer » Nov 20, 2007 2:08 am

:hugs:
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby IslandDreamer » Jan 11, 2008 12:50 am

:hugs:
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby IslandDreamer » Feb 15, 2008 10:16 pm

bump for our new mommas.
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby IslandDreamer » May 12, 2008 7:30 am

:hugs:
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby IslandDreamer » May 22, 2008 7:43 am

:hugs:
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Symptoms of Normal Grief

Postby luptus2000 » Dec 20, 2008 3:12 pm

This is exactly how I feel right now...
I'm a mess
luptus2000
Opinionated HGer
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Oct 20, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: NJ-Northen

Re: Symptoms of Normal Grief.

Postby abaker513 » Jan 15, 2013 5:39 pm

I totally know what you mean about when people ask you about how many children you have because I want to say that I have two one living and one in heaven but I know that makes people uncomfortable. But I do want people to acknowledge that my angel existed. It's just hard when other people don't understand.
abaker513
New Member
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Dec 04, 2012 9:27 pm


Return to Loss, Grief & Recovery

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest