Never again

Discuss the triumph or heartache of not having more children, and the struggle to make that decision.

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Never again

Postby samarpana » Jan 11, 2011 1:28 pm

I would rather plummet myself off a tall building than ever experience a pregnancy with HG ever again! Ok, so I wouldn't really do that..... but I'm sure you all get the idea. That is how strongly I feel about the whole baby-quest business right now (considering the fact that my body goes into HG mode). I don't know how other people do it over and over again, but I'm glad I will never find out!
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Postby slterwil » Jan 12, 2011 1:37 pm

I'm a never again girl myself. I don't know how the ladies who have it so severely do it. HG is hell. You are right! I know some moms won't go into the tri folders because they don't want to relive it, but I'm finding going into the tri folders is helping me remember that it sucked and I would be crazy to risk it ever again. I've found that's helping me a lot with not regretting my tubal. I just keep saying, yes it was that bad, and hell no could I do that again physically, financially, or mentally. I hate what HG takes from us.

How are you doing? Did you get a tubal or are you using other meds to prevent? I hope that you are having a good start to the new year.
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Postby samarpana » Jan 12, 2011 2:22 pm

I am feeling quite recovered from my loss. Actually, the end of this month (January) will mark my conception date anniversary. As it approaches, I feel strangely emotionally flat. When I look at other babies or "normal" pregnant women now, I do not feel grief. There is no emotion, just curious fascination about how some people have it so easy and others don't. I have spent the entire year perusing the trimester folders here. And let me tell you: the horrors that I read there help me to feel very validated and justified in my decision and very sure I have no desire to endure that experience. I am sooooo over the guilt and regret aspect. I realized that what I did was not a mistake. Rather, it was an aggressive act of self-care and personal empowerment (and I'm sure very few people will agree with me on that). For birth control we are just meticulously careful and it works without fault. My one and only pregnancy was intentional. So I'm not too worried about it happening again. Adoption is a possibility. And if I were to fall pregnant and get HG: Well then, like I said I would just fling myself from a tall building (haha.... just kidding!)
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Postby DivineLotus » Jan 22, 2011 9:58 pm

I must agree with you both. Samarpana, you hit the nail on the head. Its exactly the way I feel.

I even have dreams reminding my sub-cons that its the last baby ill have. I always taught pregnancy was a wonderful thing but HG made me think otherwise. Its the worst expirience of my life (and I've been threw rehab on my own) and never want to do it again.

I'm forced to feel complete (wanted a boy though and I'm dissapointed) and don't need to subject myself to the horrors of HG again. This pregnancy has take away everything about me including my marriage. The good thing is that I got to know the real person behind DH and he's a complete coward and selfish basterd. The only help I had was ER and my mother. The feeling of kicks annoy me, constipation, cravings, outgrown stomach, tiredness, upset/unsettling stomach- acid, all of it.

For me, I think-; I've done it once, I tried it, I ttc and it was planned, I'm not going to have an accident, i don't feel bad and angry at preg woman, I frankly don't give a C, I only can do 1 baby and I'm done with it all. Can't wait for this kid to come out.
Image
Second HG baby. 8/6/15
Treated with zofran, diclegis, compro, colace, jigsaw magnesium. HG 7 weeks - 17 weeks. Continued meds.

First HG baby. 4/11/11
HG 4-20weeks, little treatment, severe. Zofran, reglan, B6, placenta pervia, lost 12lbs, depression, ptsd.
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Postby jarezuny » Jan 22, 2011 11:02 pm

I said the same thing 8 years ago - NEVER AGAIN. But now I have two kids. Go figure.

Things might change for you ladies in time, but if not, that's fine. We have to respect our minds and bodies. One experience with HG is plenty for anyone.

HG sucks. I hate that it plays such a big role in decisions like this. It's not fair.
-Jessica

Mom to Ewan (9/27/02) and Laren (9/03/09)
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